Reality- Stewing in my own shit.

I’ve been gone a while. And there is a reason for that I will get to in a second.

I’ve been trying to get out more, and get more, into life I guess. And truthfully, it’s fucking hard. Like everything, some days are better than others, but sometimes I feel like in a fog.

Recovery is hard. I feel peeled already, and having to dig into the wounds that have shaped me today to gain a beter understanding of myself and my disorder is fucking hard.

While I’ve been gone, things have been looking up.

·         I got a job. It took a while, and I felt a lot of rejection, but I’m in  job now.

·         I’m half way through my last semester. Two degrees at the end of May, which is a scary thought.

·         I’m trying to live more, which involves getting out more and not living in my room or on the couch more.

·         Been crafting a lot and clearing out my room. That has been one of the most freeing stuff going on in my life. I love it.

My therapist is the one who gave the quote for the title today. I do a lot of stewing in my own shit. She says it’s an AA phrase and my god is it a good one.

I want to come clean. I stopped writing on this blog for two reason:

·         The Alphabet thing was annoying me (Have no fucking clue what I was thinking.

·         And the most important. I felt it was fake.

I do no one any good acting fake, even when I wasn’t setting out to do that. I’m gonna be real from now on.

I don’t know when updates will come, what they will be about, but I want to give a view into my life.

So it will be here, the good, the bad, the ugly.

-Depressive Gal